90. Twilight – Breaking Dawn Pt. 1

Marriage is all about sacrifice, which explains the sole reason I attended this film with my wife last weekend.  After 3 film adaptations (which I’ve admittedly seen) of the worldwide sensation known as the Twilight book series, its time for the grand finale (or atleast the first part of it) to finally resolve the love triangle of the homely teenager Bella (Kristen Stewart), brooding vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson), and Jacob the impetuous werewolf (Taylor Lautner).  My brain turns to mush while trying to sort out why millions celebrate Twilight, or even attempting to understand (or remember) the drama leading up to the fourth installment of the series – but since I wholeheartedly celebrate the saga of a boy wizard and all his friends fighting evil sorcerors, I will not throw rocks in my glass house.  ANYWAY…

After 3 preceding installments of Twilight, Bella has finally decided to marry Edward, eternally sealing the chances of romance with Jacob.  Bella and Edward marry, much to the chagrin of Jacob who appears after the ceremony to continue his fit.  Bella and Edward go off to South America for their honeymoon and guess what – Bella is instantly pregnant!  Is it human? A vampire? or (gulp) a werewolf?  Who knows.  Bella gets violently ill and they return home, with something growing in her belly fast and furious.  The werewolves are pissed (apparently it’s not cool for vampires to impregnate the normal folks), the vampires are afraid Bella might die (talk about blood on their hands – da dum chhh), and everyone is pretty worried about what might imminently be coming out of the birth canal.

Twilight is obviously a huge hit for reasons unknown to me, but the first half of the film was so corny and wooden with acting on par with the dramatic stylings of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones that I had a lot of trouble taking it seriously and immersing myself into the fantasy.  As the action picked up in the latter half, I felt much more engaged with the story as tensions began to boil.  Basically, if you are a fan of the series it will probably have everything you want, at least with the limits of an adaptation that can’t realize the scope of emotion and intensity that words on a page can illuminate.  For the rest of us, at least pick a side on Team Edward or Team Jacob, it’ll ease a little pain.

2.5 stars out of 5

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Categories: 100 Films

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One Comment on “90. Twilight – Breaking Dawn Pt. 1”

  1. December 2, 2011 at 11:15 pm #

    Yeah, the action was sparse- and that is being generous.

    Here is our take with a lot of pics and a little humor if you’re are interested:

    http://fortresstakes.wordpress.com/2011/12/02/the-twilight-saga-breaking-dawn-part-1-2011

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