34. Transformers 3

I loved the first Transformers movie, slept through the last half of Transformers 2, so I said “what the hell” and saw Transformers 3 anyway.

Shia Labeouf returns yet again as Sam Witwicky, an anonymous savior of the earth who has graduated college and is looking for a big boy job out in the real world.  His new girlfriend (hello Rose Huntington Whitely, bye bye Megan Fox) currently works for a suave and insanely wealthy automobile magnate (Patrick Dempsey) which drives Sam wild with jealousy.  While the Autobots are out battling terrorists in the middle east and looking for signs of a return of the Decepticons, we learn that the wisest Transformer of all, Sentinel Prime crash landed on the moon in 1961 and that the remaining Decepticons want to awaken him from his eternal sleep so they can build a portal that brings Megatron (their home planet) to Earth so they can make slaves out of us humans…and also kill the Autobots once and for all.

The first half of the film was actually funny and welcoming, but the second half was almost completely dreadful.  Over an hour of Chicago being pulverized to dust in the final battle left me anxious and waiting for the film to end.  The action sequences were impressive, but this film should have been at least 20 minutes shorter.  Just because you can make a film 2 hours and 40 minutes doesn’t mean you should.  Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and Labeouf all mail in the same roles they’ve done twice before, but atleast Rosie Huntington Whitely and Patrick Dempsey were brought in for some new energy.

I enjoyed the 60’s throwback introduction, even if it played off a worn out conspiracy theory-but the rest of the plot felt entirely too predictable.  Especially with Spielberg’s name attached as Executive Producer, one can’t help but be disappointed with this lethargic and indulgent trilogy-especially after such a strong introduction.  As for Michael Bay..

The survey says…2.5 stars out of 5.  And bring on the G.I. Joe sequel already-my inner 5 year old is screaming for it.

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Categories: 100 Films

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